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COVID 19 Some Not so Serious Reflections

And so, we face another month of lockdown. It’s been almost a year now. And it certainly feels like a year. Even as I struggle with cabin fever, I must admit that if nothing else, time spent being educated about the Virus has helped increase my vocabulary exponentially. I’ve learned about a community spread and super spreader, contact tracing, contactless, containment area, epidemiology, hydroxychloroquine, PPE, PUI, incubator period, Remdesivir, respirator, self-isolation, and the differences between pandemic, endemic, polemic, and systemic. I now know about incubation periods, droplet transmission, social distancing and flattening the curve, which I used to associate with Weight Watchers and advertisements for Spandex. And vaccines! What do you need to know; just send me an email!

My days just seem to bleed together, Easter has come and gone and I act as if I’m still recovering from Christmas. This lockdown is playing with my emotions. I’m tired, lazy, have to push myself to get motivated and to stay away from the refrigerator. There are times I can’t remember the day or the date and do weekends matter anymore? Just yesterday I found myself staring vacantly at a rerun of Sesame Street. Even though golf has opened up, my wife tells me that I stumble aimlessly around the house, clutching my putter, caressing the blade like a long-lost friend. And I have it on excellent authority that I wake up several times a night shouting ‘hole in one’ and ‘oh, my God it’s a total shank.” I can’t remember the last time I wore a shirt, tie or socks, and the highlight of my week now is trying to figure out which sweat- shirt I should wear as I excitedly prepare to go and buy some food at Safeway.

My nerves are on edge and I’m hopeful, fascinated, worried, uplifted, electrified, turned off, optimistic, ecstatic, depressed, frustrated, confused and exhausted all within the space of a couple of hours watching TV. I used to like taking a drive or long walk specially on a weekend but now even the garbage goes out more than me.

But in spite of the looming third or fourth phase ‘explosion,’ the scare of the new mutated versions from South African, Brazil, and the UK, and the questions about dangers from some of the vaccines, I refuse to feed my depression. I study feverishly and have become something of an authority on ‘SpongeBob’ and the benefit of higher quality screening colonoscopies. And here are a couple of positive thoughts while the lockdown continues:

For the first time in our history, we can save the human race by lying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let’s not screw this up.

And secondly:

Your grandparents were called to war. You are being called to sit on your ass on your couch. Make a real effort here and put your mind to it. YOU CAN DO THIS.

And as the ‘bard’ wrote in Hamlet, “To single mask or double mask? Aye, that is the question.”

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